99% Of Everything Is Shit

from Stupid Songs by Dave Guhlow

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lyrics

99% OF EVERYTHING IS SHIT
(Dave Guhlow)

Now it ain’t easy writing songs
I try day after day
Now most of them go nowhere
I throw them all away
But every now and then I find
There’s one that’s not a mess
I think I found the formula
The secret to success

(Chorus)
(Cause) 99% of everything is shit
Just 1% is any good and just a little bit
Now you go out a couple/hundred/thousand years
No one remembers it
Cause 99% of everything is shit

Now you go out and seek your dreams
And hope you’ll be a star
Hey, how come you ain’t famous yet
You hear that near and far
You’re waiting for that one big break
At least that’s what you think
Or maybe that the reason is
You absolutely stink

(Repeat chorus)

They got Da Vinci masterpieces hanging in the Louvre
Then there’s Albert Einstein
He ain’t got shit to prove
Most everything on Earth today ain’t worth a hill of beans
I know this song ain’t Shakespeare
So you know what that means (take it pickers)

They got Egyptian pyramids a-sittin’ by the Nile
Then there’s Charlie Chaplin
He always made me smile
To make your mark in history you better stake your claim
Like that one guy, whozits
And good old what’s his name

Now ‘fore you go on thinking that
Life’s one big waste of time
Not everyone can be the best
Hey, average ain’t no crime
Now this is my philosophy
It really ain’t so deep
How bad you think those others were
If this is one I keep

(Repeat chorus)

I said, 99% of everything is shit

That’s it

credits

from Stupid Songs, released November 18, 2014

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about

Dave Guhlow Henderson, Nevada

Dave Guhlow’s completely accurate bio, by A. Paidshill:

Beloved entertainer, humanitarian, and national treasure, Dave Guhlow is none of these things.

The man who put the harm in harmony, his act has been described as the kind that killed vaudeville, then dug it up and killed it again.

His songs are like fine wine after being dumped in the sewer, and now, you can experience the same revulsion. ... more