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Because I​’​m Dead

from Stupid Songs by Dave Guhlow

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lyrics

BECAUSE I’M DEAD
(Dave Guhlow)

Because I’m dead, I’m no longer alive
Because I’m dead, I no longer survive
I had a lot of fun
But now my time is done
I really gotta run
Because I’m dead

Because I’m dead, I’m no longer feeling ill
Because I’m dead, you’ll fight over my will
But you won’t get my stuff
If you don’t like it tough
Don’t give me any guff
Because I’m dead

Just take, a broom
And clean, my room
You’ll find, my stash
My porn, my trash (but no cash)

Because I’m dead, I’m no longer at home
Because I’m dead, I won’t answer my phone
Don’t cut me any slack
Don’t try to bring me back
Just put me in a sack
Because I’m dead

Because I’m dead, I’m no longer around
Because I’m dead, I’m six feet underground
So please don’t step on me
And keep it litter free
And promise not to pee
Because I’m dead
Because I’m dead
Because I’m dead
Because I’m

credits

from Stupid Songs, released November 18, 2014

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Dave Guhlow Henderson, Nevada

Dave Guhlow’s completely accurate bio, by A. Paidshill:

Beloved entertainer, humanitarian, and national treasure, Dave Guhlow is none of these things.

The man who put the harm in harmony, his act has been described as the kind that killed vaudeville, then dug it up and killed it again.

His songs are like fine wine after being dumped in the sewer, and now, you can experience the same revulsion. ... more

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