Jerkin' For Jesus

from Stupid Songs by Dave Guhlow

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lyrics

JERKIN’ FOR JESUS
(Dave Guhlow)

There are a lot of problems
In the world today
It seems that we’re all waitin’
For a judgment day
If we can get our savior
To come back pretty soon
Then maybe he can help us
Before the planet’s doomed

So all the heads of science
Gathered ‘round to say
That they all need a sample
Of our DNA
If they create our savior
In their basement lab
Then we won’t have to wait for him
To rise up from the slab

(Chorus)
So/Cause I’m jerkin’ for Jesus
Jerkin’ for Jesus
Jerkin’ for Jesus
So he’ll rise again
When you’re jerkin’ for Jesus
Jerkin’ for Jesus
Jerkin’ for Jesus
It ain’t really sin

Now I don’t wear no sandals
I don’t have a beard
My Hebrew’s pretty rusty
My accent’s kinda weird
Well, I don’t go to church
Nearly as often as I should
I’m not much of a carpenter
But I got lots of wood

(Repeat chorus)

They say a girl named Mary
Had a virgin birth
She would bring the world a son
And he would change the Earth
Well, I don’t know if all that’s true
But I don’t take no chance
I’m goin’ in the other room
And takin’ off my pants

Play it, Homer
Woo-hoo
Take it, Jethro
Pick it

In every life there comes a time
You’ve gotta take a stand
And when it comes to Jesus
I’m proud to lend a hand
I’ll stand erect beside him
So he can spread his word
Cause it’s his second comin’
But me, I’m on my third

(Repeat chorus x2)

Jerkin’ for Jesus
Amen

credits

from Stupid Songs, released November 18, 2014

license

about

Dave Guhlow Henderson, Nevada

Dave Guhlow’s completely accurate bio, by A. Paidshill:

Beloved entertainer, humanitarian, and national treasure, Dave Guhlow is none of these things.

The man who put the harm in harmony, his act has been described as the kind that killed vaudeville, then dug it up and killed it again.

His songs are like fine wine after being dumped in the sewer, and now, you can experience the same revulsion. ... more