Quantum Mechanic

from Stupid Songs by Dave Guhlow

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lyrics

QUANTUM MECHANIC
(Dave Guhlow)

Now he’s a quantum mechanic
Now don’t you go and panic
He’s gonna fix the universe today
Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
He’s all thermodynamic
You’ll get your singularity someday

Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
A molecular fanatic
He’ll split the atom right before your eyes (yes, he will)
Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
And it’s so automatic
That he’s a cinch to win the Nobel Prize

Did I forget to mention
There’s a few extra dimensions
Before we get the old big bang to start
It might not be in one day
It might not be till Monday
Especially if we have to order parts (got any quarks?)

Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
His energy’s organic
His scientific theory can’t be matched (no, it can’t)
Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
Now don’t you call him manic
He’ll fix it for you with no strings attached (take it, Albert)

Play it, Isaac

He’ll take your antimatter
And collide it till it shatters
He’ll be right there from somewhere out in space
Now don’t call him a jackhole
If he’s filling in your black hole
He’ll wormhole to another time and place (in space)

Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
Now don’t you go and panic
He’s gonna fix the universe today (yes, he will)
Cause he’s a quantum mechanic
He’s all thermodynamic
You’ll get your singularity someday
You’ll get your singularity someday
You’ll get your singularity someday

QED

credits

from Stupid Songs, released November 18, 2014

license

about

Dave Guhlow Henderson, Nevada

Dave Guhlow’s completely accurate bio, by A. Paidshill:

Beloved entertainer, humanitarian, and national treasure, Dave Guhlow is none of these things.

The man who put the harm in harmony, his act has been described as the kind that killed vaudeville, then dug it up and killed it again.

His songs are like fine wine after being dumped in the sewer, and now, you can experience the same revulsion. ... more